Swimming in dirty water

Being a neophyte in the world of inter-regional polemics, I am honoured to be insulted by the famous Rein F. Deer ('A goat song for the South', 14-20 February). But with all due respect, perhaps he should occasionally open the door of his sauna and take a look outside.

My southern view of things is less 'primitive Zorbas' than European, meaning tolerant, respectful debate, and the tasteful silk ties, mutual respect, linen tablecloths and solid values which go with this.

You might think this cannot be a hard sell to the second-from-last 'new' Europeans. But this is to reckon without their obstinate Nordic ways.

When Rein F. Deer describes the arguments about the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (FYROM) as "tribal wars and/or endemic alcoholism, or both", he is giving away more than he realises about what might be loosely described as 'Nordic culture'.

Even when they are not in their igloos chewing raw fish, drinking pure alcohol and related pastimes, many still wear horned helmets, if invisible ones.

We are patient down South, so let me try again to explain about tolerance and the old European way. It does not mean passivism. And cultural identity, in the fullest sense, is for us what makes life beautiful, in fact worth living. Without it there can be no genuine dialogue or political progress, which is what the FYROM argument is really about.

Remove the horned helmet for a minute, Rein, and consider if it could be that the Nordic ways of the man you call "the chief fire-officer patrolling the ruins" in FYROM might actually be the reason for the impasse?

If you drink enough vodka it is possible to believe pretty well anything, including that real fights aren't necessary. The French and Spanish resistance movements also wrote their history.

As for the origins of tragedy and the "goat song" you mention, I consulted the Greek dictionary. The word 'tragedy' refers to the chorus in Dionysian festivities, or the trophy in song competitions (a goat is not invariably a ridiculous thing and can taste good if cooked properly).

Everything is relative and everything flows. Oceans are indisputably an invaluable source for life. Yet man kills the oceans. Or, to be more precise, northerners do. The Baltic, for example, has long since become a dump for chemicals and sewage, to the point where pregnant women in Sweden have been warned not to eat fresh herring.

One day soon, thanks to climate change, it will be endurable to swim in the northern seas. But better not, per-haps. I predict you will still head South again this summer, Rein and friends.

It's not just the sunshine that attracts you. Down South (France included) almost all bathing areas fulfil mandatory EU standards and 89.6% comply with the tightened-up EU rules on water quality - against 69.3% up in the cool, disciplined North.

Being a neophyte in the world of inter-regional polemics, I am honoured to be insulted by the famous Rein F. Deer ('A goat song for the South', 14-20 February). But with all due respect, perhaps he should occasionally open the door of his sauna and take a look outside.