Nice work if you can get it

Date: 16/05/1996

Wanted: one president of the European Parliament.

The successful applicant must enjoy meeting people. An ability to listen to an awful lot of speeches without falling asleep would be an advantage. An understanding of distinction between Points of Order and Pointless Ranting would be an asset, but is not essential. An excellent memory for names and political parties would also help. Previous experience of the job is not allowed.

The Parliament is an equal opportunities employer, and applicants of either sex who are German and not Christian Democrat will be discriminated against equally.

Three MEPs have quietly applied for this attractive well-remunerated, two-and-a-half year non-renewable post and are even now being extra nice to their political friends and enemies in the hope of taking over from Klaus Hänsch, the German Socialist incumbent who steps down at the end of this year.

Their chances have increased considerably following the appointment of former Commissioner and MEP Abel Matutes as Spain's foreign minister and the decision by another obvious front-runner, EPP leader Wilfried Martens, to rule himself out of contention.

That leaves a trio of current EP vice-presidents practising their smiles and statesperson-like mannerisms in front of the mirror in the hope of securing the top job.

Nicole Fontaine from France is bidding to become the first female president since Simone Veil. Georgios Anastassopoulos is determined to become the first Greek leader of the Parliament. And José María Gil-Robles Gil-Delgado is trying to become the first leader of a world-renowned institution to have a dafter name than Boutros Boutros Ghali.

The bookmakers are not yet prepared to give odds on who will emerge as the victor - and the prospect of a late challenger, possibly with an even bigger chance of a misspelt surname, has not been ruled out.