Globe-trotters on a roll for Europe

Date: 23/10/1997

Geoff Meade takes a light-hearted look at life in the European Union WHILE the autumn season of Euro-cocktail parties ponders the fate of transatlantic trade relations and the single currency ins and pre-ins, not to mention the enlargement want-to-be-ins and why-can't-I-be-ins, let us pause and reflect and ask how Grit Lang, Noblemann Motsa, Dan Filner, Mark Gibson and Akihiro Sawauchi are getting on.

Last July, these five musketeers set out on a mission, a mission of such enormity that it dwarfs the irritating little glitches in bonhomie between Brussels and Washington.

It overwhelms the tiresome economic pronouncements about whether someone's debt ratio is within a certain percentage of the mean average of everyone else's national wealth expressed as a proportion of yet another person's relative inflation compared with last century.

And it puts in the shade the debate about whether the esteemed banana republic of Netbeny Ficiary is a fit and noble enough power on the planet to join the élite 15.

Yet what have we in Brussels heard of Grit, Noblemann, Dan, Mark and Akihiro since they were given an emotional send-off more than three months ago by Social Affairs Commissioner Pádraig Flynn? Nothing.

All we were told was that these five individuals had been hand-picked to skate around the world, yes, skate around the world, eradicating racism as they went. Ten thousand kilometres, 16 countries, five continents in four months, all in the name of the European Year against Racism. And not just any skates, but in-line skates, the ones with the wheels in a straight line so you can't even balance on them when you stop for a breather. Roller-blades, in the jargon.

Who could be found with the true grit to perform this task, a human feat of endurance to match those of olden times in a shrinking world where it is hard to find something new and challenging to do?

Obviously Grit, from Germany, was a top candidate. Noblemann, from Swaziland had to be another, with a name like that. Dan from America, Mark from Australia and Akihiro from Japan make up the team that started in London, swinging through Europe crossing time zones, cultures and climates to America and Asia, on to Australia, Africa and thence back to Europe. On skates, I remind you. In-line skates, with the wheels in the middle. Very wobbly.

Their feat will end, and probably so will their feet, in Berlin in a few weeks. On 22 November, to be precise. They will be joined in a skate-athon by hordes of well-wishers for those final few metres to the finishing post at the Brandenburg Gate. They deserve a welcome fit for heroes.

And Voicebox deeply regrets that while we in Brussels are swamped with information every step of the way about who said what to whom over Helms-Burton, whose convergence criteria are smelling of roses and whose are not, and whose moral, ethical, economic and political standards are not quite up to what is required for entering the Euro-club of the great and the good, we are told nothing of an adventure dubbed by one public relations wizard as 'One Globe, One Skate'.

It is our fault, really, for asking the wrong questions. We should be demanding wall charts tracking the skaters' progress and regular updates on improvements in racial harmony as the skating quintet whiz round the world.

How many pairs of skates are these chaps getting through? How is their stamina, their morale? Are crowds lining the streets everywhere they roll up? These are the issues that matter to people in a world rendered greyer each day by slabs of economic forecasts and endless talking-shop conferences about political integration.

So I decided to ask these questions and I can now tell you that Grit, Dan, Noblemann, Mark and Akihiro are doing a splendid job and are being greeted with fanfares wherever their in-line skating wheels come to rest.

Out there in the real world, where single currencies and enlargements are either unknown or far enough removed to be ignored, the crowds turn out to greet them at every stop. In New York, for instance, they were joined by hundreds of roller-bladers who apparently emerge on to the streets every Wednesday to skate around Manhattan.

Today, in fact, the five are on the other side of the globe, skating from Primbee to Ulladuaa via Winnamurra, Kiama and Gerringong, all of which are in Australia.

I am grateful to Charlotte Barraclough in the European Year against Racism press office who surprised me by giving an instant update on their whereabouts. I had expected, at best, someone on the phone who had not heard of the 'One Globe, One Skate' endeavour, but who would promise to get back to me when they found someone who had, and then never would.

Instead, I find these skaters are not alone. We may have forgotten them, but rather like astronauts thundering around in space while we get on with our more humdrum lives, they have their own mission control.

Encouraged by my success, I put in a call to the folk behind that other great globe-trotting Euro-adventure, the roving fish bus, which has been pottering across the landscape all summer promoting the consumption of sardines and which pulled on its handbrake for the last time in Cologne a few days ago after five months on the road.

Not so lucky this time. Fish bus mission control was less certain of the whereabouts of its craft, but as it was due to end its journey in Germany on 16 October and as no one has heard that it has crashed or broken down, it must have arrived.

The third pioneering Euro-effort of the year, the Euro-barge, has also managed to avoid the glare of publicity, completing its trip along the canals of Europe promoting the single currency without anybody noticing.

It is up to us all to ensure that 22 November does not pass in such oblivion. Transatlantic trade disputes are beneath all this. The single currency can, indeed, must wait. Enlargement is light years away.

So hail the conquering skaters! Let us applaud Grit, Noblemann, Dan, Mark and Akihiro. This is happening now! This is news! This is real!