By fair means or foul

Date: 08/05/1997

At the end of the day, it was all about balls in the back of the net and the Commission's translation service emerged victorious after turning more of its moves into goals than any other team at the inter-service football tournament organised by DGXII (research).

The researchers were less than over the moon when they lost in the final, especially as they went to the bother of taking the thing seriously and arguing with the referee.

Eight teams took part, in two groups of four. One group comprised DGVII (transport), the translators, DGVIII (development) and DGIV (competition). The other was made up of DGXII (research), DGXVI (regional policy), DGIA (foreign affairs) and UCLAF (the anti-fraud division).

The semi-finalists were DGXII versus DGVII and the translators versus the anti-fraudsters, with the translation service defeating the researchers in the final.

Just one yellow card was awarded all weekend, to an evidently Eurosceptic British official from DGVII looking to emulate his great hero David Batty with a series of breathtaking tackles and fouls.

These players knew no fear - the aforementioned fouls were committed in full view of the culprit's Director-General Robert Coleman.