Adjusting to life in Flatpackland

By Rein F. Deer

Date: 24/05/06

Swedes believe they have invented the Perfect Society, and no one would dispute that the home of novelty pencil-holders is the very best place for the average Swede - Medelsvensson - to live.

Rich, famous, or vaguely interesting Swedes emigrated to London or Zurich a good 20 years ago, which incidentally explains why the Conservatives will never win enough votes to push out the Social Democrats.

Prime Minister Göran Persson has done his best to lure the tycoons back - for their millions, evidently, not their votes - by abolishing inheritance tax. But it's too late; the fish aren't biting.

On the other hand, the flow in the other direction has been lively. Sweden has for decades been the immigrant Shangri-La and nowadays a third of Sweden's 9 million people are genetically something other than Vikings.

The Paradise of the North contains snakes, however, some white, some black. Fringe movements such as Keep Sweden Swedish and The White Arian Resistance have now provoked something called SSP or SvartSkalle Partiet - literally the Black Noddle Party.

These pigmented immigrants with attitude claim their share of power. The party programme proposes a quota for aliens, three out of nine policemen, judges, ministers, diplomats, MPs and, of course, MEPs should have a dark face.

The founding fathers of the movement say they are as fed up with their coloured brothers and sisters exploiting the welfare state as they are with skinheads.

"We care, that's why we criticise." And do they criticise! They even fail to understand why a murderer should be released to play in a local theatre group. Or a serial killer get five years in a mental institution, but be allowed out for week-ends.

None of this is new in Flatpackland. It's just curious that it should be the new-look Swedes who complain about excessive tolerance, or customs such as the nanny-state fining homeowners if a thief has the misfortune to break his leg in a slippery courtyard while making his escape.

Nor do they get the logic of a girl inheriting from her parents after slicing them up. Why do dogs have spas and horses a hotel in Sweden? One has to wonder whether these new Swedes understand anything about their new home.

"We will teach feminists to cook and take proper care of their families," says the new party, completely unrepentant, proclaiming: "We want real jobs, not just helping in pizzerias and kebab dumps."

The Noddle Party promises to take Sweden from the "red-green capital-ridden centrally-controlled pseudo-communism" back to what they perceive as normality. This approach may explain why the party has not yet been able to register its name officially. Totalitarianism with a tweety-pie face is not going to take a challenge like this lying down.

Comment feature on Swedish society and a new Swedish party called SSP or SvartSkalle Partiet - literally the Black Noddle Party.