How to upset people the French way

Up North, as regular readers of this column know, we try to be even-handed and insult everyone without fear or favour. But for France we make an exception. Convinced of their corporate and individual superiority over everyone else in the world they really take the Bisquit.

With so much self-esteem, why worry about how others see you? Take the French company building a 1,600 megawatt nuclear power station on an island off western Finland. The Finns want more emission-free (and Russia-free) energy and Olkiluoto 3 (OK3), which will be the biggest and most powerful reactor in the world, was supposed to start doing its stuff in 2009.

But what will be Finland’s fifth nuclear power station is already at least a year late, thanks to the Gallic way of doing things. This involves, for instance, signing contracts without reading the small print; or if they do read it, not caring what it has to say. This can have tiresome consequences.

OK3 is a turn-key operation. This means that Areva, the French contractors, already in financial trouble thanks to their arrogant behaviour, will now have to pay the equivalent of at least a year’s electricity in compensation for the delay.

What is it about the French? Plenty of Europeans, perhaps most, would agree that France supported the EU as long as it was going the French way; when the EU started to act like a genuine union of sove-reign nations they did not want to play.

Unemployment? No problem. For France the cure was shortening the working week to 35 hours. Now these mandarin geniuses are mystified that productivity falls if people work less.

France hates competition from abroad, vide the Polish plumber scare, but sees no contradiction in demanding more than its share of the international market: the Carrefour chain is conquering Poland. When it comes to opening up its own markets, such as energy, the tricolor-decorated barriers go up. France doesn’t ‘do’ fair play.

French leaders blame the European Central Bank when the country’s exporters fail to make enough profit. Meanwhile countries like Germany and Finland carry on exporting as much as they can produce with exactly the same euro exchange rate.

While the French refuse to adjust to international competition they are not at all ashamed of exploiting common funds for their own convenience. They recently invented something called the European Globalisation Fund to compensate them for the effects of not making necessary structural changes. They want Other People’s Money - not admittedly, just a Gallic trait.

They are racist, chauvinistic hypocrites and see that as perfectly natural and even charming. The French way of doing things may be bold and grand, sans peur. But as they are discovering up North, it can also be an expensive way of going on.

Up North, as regular readers of this column know, we try to be even-handed and insult everyone without fear or favour. But for France we make an exception. Convinced of their corporate and individual superiority over everyone else in the world they really take the Bisquit.